My right ear

Ok guys, I’m sorry about the radio silence. I have no particular excuse, save that of laziness and an inordinate amount of time spent prostrating myself before my new air-conditioning unit.

I’ve also been trying to stay up to date with the news this week. After all, a lot has been going on. Brexit is apparently now a reality, and as such, analyses on Britain’s imminent divorce have started shedding their apocalyptic tones in favor of a more optimistic outlook:

And yet, Britain has just installed Thatcher 2.0 (yikes); Boris Johnson is still looking for Ceylon and Rhodesia on the Tube map; Bernie has endorsed madam Chairman of the People’s Front for Sanity; the Republican Party now has a Pinky to accompany President Brain(less) on the quest for electoral victory; and most pressingly, I have ingrown hair follicle in my right ear, limiting my capacity to care about contemporary politics as a titanic pain throbs in my aural snatch while I attempt practice this:

But in all seriousness, I decided to take a look at the way the Trump campaign gone about rallying the morons to fore. It’s been on my mind as I’ve been reading more and more about Nixon and Wallace and their campaign tactics. I think what strikes me most about Trump is that his personality is so bizarre that he doesn’t really rely on campaign performers, singers, comedians etc. – the opening acts that turn political campaigns into spectacles. There’s obviously the possibility that it’s a coincidence, as all reports from the inside seem to suggest that level of organization is rather low, potentially incapable of organizing an orgy in a brothel (should Trump further boast about his status among sex workers). That, and many performers despise the man, some going so far as to publicly ask him NOT to use their music at his rallies.

These factors aside, it doesn’t change the fact that Trump plays a different game than the politicians of the past. Most politicians have to hire performers to compensate for their lack of personality. Trump’s got that one covered. So, in noticing the lack of musician endorsements the press, I decided to see what music is being used on the trail. “Trump music rally” on Youtube and Google Video got a lot of bizarre results that made the searing pain feel all the more intimate and acute.

First, we’ve got a standard national anthem, which dear Donald insisted be sung despite a scheduling conflict.

A nice contrast the stirring rendition in Oregon earlier this year:

Ok, ok, we know all about those. But the results started getting weirder. For instance, there was a rather strange tribute in Palm Beach:

This unendorsed campaign song which apparently was heard played only once at a rally:

… and another (Ok, this wasn’t used at a rally, but it’s amazing):

And then I hit the jackpot.

I suppose this is where I insert how speechless I am, how flabbergasted, how worried, concerned, horrified, disgusted, befuddled, unamused I am. But my ear hurts too much too much to type that much, and I need to go buy some more Tylenol. I’ll be back in a bit.